Last year, I came across a TED Talk that truly shifted my perspective. It made me realise how powerful a change in mindset can be. Looking back, I hadn’t noticed that I was already learning not to take things personally—it just wasn’t something I consciously acknowledged.
Before watching the video, I knew that I easily took things to heart. One particular moment stands out: My boyfriend and I were on a jeepney ride home from the vet. I carefully counted our fare and handed it to the driver, but he insisted I had only given him ₱16 instead of ₱26. I was certain I had paid the correct amount—perhaps he mistook a ₱10 coin for a ₱5. I tried to explain, but neither of us was willing to back down. Finally, my boyfriend sighed and said, “Just give him ₱10.” So I did. But I wasn’t okay with it.
I felt frustrated—like I was being cheated. Even after we got home, I was still fuming, venting to my boyfriend about how unfair it was. He told me to let it go, that it wasn’t worth my energy. But to me, it was about principle—I didn’t want to tolerate being cheated, especially when I knew I was right.
Then I came across a TED Talk by Frederik Imbo, and he posed a question that struck a chord with me:
“Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?”
That moment hit me hard. I realised I had been taking things personally far more often than I admitted. And if I wanted to be the calm and happy person I aspired to be, I needed to change that. From his talk, I learned a few important things:
1. It’s not about me. – Look at the other person’s intention.
2. It is about me. – Give yourself empathy. Speak up when necessary, but with self-awareness.
3. No matter what others say or do, I still have my value. – People may criticise, dismiss, or even try to belittle you, but that doesn’t change who you are.
Months passed after I watched the video. I think it was in August. And then something interesting happened—without even realising it at first, I stopped taking things so personally. The moment I noticed, I felt genuinely happy. It was a sign of growth. I excitedly shared this with my boyfriend, smiling from ear to ear because I hadn’t even noticed the shift until it was already happening.
Here are two moments where I saw the change in myself:
1. The Jeepney Fare Incident—Again
One day, I took a jeepney to meet my friends at the mall. I handed over a ₱50 bill for my ₱13 fare and waited for my change. The driver was the chatty type—talking to passengers, commenting on traffic, constantly distracted. Eventually, I realised we were nearing my stop, and I still hadn’t received my change. So, I reminded him.
To my surprise, he insisted I never gave him ₱50. I knew I had, but I could see that arguing wouldn’t change his mind. And in that moment, I had a choice: I could get worked up, fight to be right, and ruin my mood, or I could just let it go. And I chose to let it go.
Unlike before, the word “cheated” didn’t even cross my mind. Instead, I simply thought, I’d rather be happy than be right over this.
2. The Difficult Conversation
Just recently, I had a conversation with someone that unexpectedly escalated. I recognised my mistake, took accountability for it, and tried to resolve the issue. But later that evening, I received an emotionally charged message from this person—one that felt less like constructive feedback and more like a personal attack.
The old me would have felt hurt, defensive, and eager to prove why that person was wrong about me. But this time? I didn’t feel that way at all.
I read the message, acknowledged their emotions, and understood where they were coming from. But I also reminded myself: What this person said in this message about me isn’t true, so why should I let it upset me? There was no need to prove myself right—that wouldn’t fix anything. Instead, I let the words pass through me, focusing on what truly mattered: resolving the situation.
And I was so proud of myself.
If this had happened before, I would have wasted hours overthinking every word, crafting the “perfect” response to prove my point. But now? I simply let go of the need to be right. And it felt freeing.
The Bigger Picture
Beyond these moments, I realised something else: I have more important things going on in my life. My boyfriend once shared a story from The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*, about an old lady screaming at a cashier over a 30-cent voucher. It wasn’t about the money—it was about control. When people don’t have real, meaningful struggles in life, they blow up over the smallest things.
And I don’t want to be like that.
Maybe that’s why I’ve learned not to take things so personally—because I simply don’t have the time for it anymore. My energy is better spent elsewhere. I’d rather focus on what truly matters than waste it on things I can choose to let go of.
Because at the end of the day, I’d much rather be happy than just be right.