Back in July 2025, my boyfriend and I had a wonderful conversation about our dreams and aspirations. I remember how happy I felt sharing everything I wanted in life—the July 2025 version of me. That conversation made me realise just how much my dreams have changed as I’ve grown older.
When I was young, the first profession I ever wanted was to be a nurse. I didn’t really know why—I was just a kid. A few years later, I said I wanted to become a teacher, mainly because one of the owners of the house we lived in was a teacher. But things shifted in high school, especially after I experienced being an exchange student in a European international school. That’s when I decided I wanted to be a diplomat. And I think that was the first dream I truly understood—one I had real reasons for.
But life had other plans. At the time, there were only about four or five schools in Metro Manila offering the Consular and Diplomatic Affairs programme. That alone—combined with tuition costs and scholarship limitations—narrowed my options down to two. Then life intervened again. I wasn’t granted a full scholarship in the green school, and to be honest, we couldn’t afford what was left after the grant. As for the red school—well, life played its own jokes, and one of them was my missed opportunity there.
When I finished college and earned my bachelor’s degree, I told myself I would do everything I could to excel in the field I ended up in. I wanted to make the most of the cards I had been dealt. But as I experienced more of work and life, that declaration I made as a fresh graduate slowly faded.
My dreams changed.
A few years back, I sat down with myself and finally became honest about what I truly want. Yes, I will always do my best in whatever role I land in. But when it comes to making a name, defining a solid career, climbing the ladder, or reaching the very top—I realised that isn’t what I truly want out of this life. If I achieved all of that today, would I really be happy? Would that be my dream? No. When it comes to work, I simply want to do my best—and let that be enough.
What I truly dream of having and achieving is peace, stability, and security.
These are the things I didn’t grow up with. I didn’t grow up with a family I could fall back on. I didn’t know what it felt like to be supported, loved, or cared for. I didn’t have a safe environment as a child. I spent my growing-up years surviving mental, physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional abuse. I spent my adolescence battling mental illness. I lost my first three years in my twenties to a toxic relationship that only worsened my mental health and stability.
Since the age of 24, I’ve been reparenting myself. I’ve done my best not to succumb to all the bullshit I dealt with as a child, a teenager, and a young adult. I made a conscious choice to be better, to be happier, and to remain grateful despite everything.
After all of that, all I really want is a home.
That’s it.
That’s all I need to carry on.