In 2019, I reached my lowest point. I was in a terrible state—lost, directionless, and consumed by a toxic relationship. My world revolved around my ex-boyfriend because, at the time, I had no one else and nothing meaningful going on in my life. I had moved to a new city, far from the familiarity of home and my childhood friends. On top of that, my mental health was in shambles. I was mostly depressed, with occasional manic episodes, and everything about my life felt wrong.
I didn’t like my job. My attitude was poor, and I struggled to form friendships at work. Looking back, I realise my behaviour wasn’t helping, but at the time, I couldn’t understand why I was that way. My flat was a mess, and so was I. It was as though every aspect of my life had spiralled into chaos.
When my relationship with my ex-boyfriend ended, something shifted. It wasn’t immediate, but it was transformative. Slowly, I began to rediscover myself—the person I had always been and the person I was meant to become.
After the breakup, I moved back to my hometown and stayed there for two years. That period was life-changing. I finally took the time to focus on myself. I acknowledged the things about me that weren’t healthy and admitted that I, too, had been toxic. My thoughts about myself, my life, and others were clouded by negativity. But instead of running from that truth, I faced it.
I started working on my mindset and attitude. I landed a job at one of the top local banks and, for the first time in years, my attendance improved dramatically. I wasn’t late or absent anymore because I no longer dreaded facing the day. To this day, I’m still with the same company—a testament to how much I’ve grown.
Beyond work, I began taking care of myself again. I made time for my physical appearance and mental wellbeing. Back in 2017–2019, I looked stressed and unkempt, weighed down by my mental state. I was so depressed that I impulsively cut my curly hair into a boyish style, which didn’t suit me at all. Now, I’ve found a rhythm of self-care that makes me feel confident and whole.
As for relationships, I gave myself the time I needed to heal. I stayed single for almost two years, focusing entirely on my growth. When I was ready, I met my current boyfriend, who has brought so much happiness and positivity into my life. We’re still together, and it’s a healthy, fulfilling relationship built on mutual respect and understanding.
Looking back, my relationship with my ex taught me many valuable lessons. It was undeniably toxic, with both of us contributing to the dysfunction. I had anger management issues, while he was controlling and often isolated me. We brought out the worst in each other. If we had stayed together, neither of us would have grown or found true happiness.
One of the biggest realisations I’ve had is that we weren’t meant to be. We weren’t what each other needed to grow into better versions of ourselves. I’m grateful we didn’t end up together. I’ve since learned to appreciate the beauty of letting go of things that aren’t meant for us.
Today, I’m proud to say that my mental health is in a much better place. I haven’t harmed myself since 2019, and I feel more alive and full of joy than ever before. Every aspect of my life has improved, and I’m genuinely proud of the person I’ve become.
Life isn’t perfect, but it’s mine—and I’m living it with gratitude, happiness, and a renewed sense of purpose.