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What Xie's Up To

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What Xie's Up To

Exploring the tapestry of life one post at a time

Breaking the Cycle of Hurt

Posted on April 13, 2025November 3, 2025 By xosolis


I grew up in a broken family, had a difficult childhood, and experienced bullying both as a child and in college. I went through a toxic relationship and endured physical, sexual, emotional, and verbal abuse. I carried a lot of pain. And for a long time, I let that pain define me. I told the world how much I was hurting, how unfair life had been, and how deeply it had all affected me. My story was one of suffering, and I truly believed the world had given me nothing but hardship.

But as I grew older and sought therapy, I began to see my experiences from a different perspective—one that wasn’t centred on pain. Yes, these things happened to me, and yes, they hurt. But they don’t hurt me now. And I refuse to give them the power to hurt me again by continuing to focus on the pain they once caused. Instead, I choose to focus on the lessons they taught me. I’ve learned to examine the narratives I once held about myself, the ones shaped by trauma, and rewrite them with wisdom and strength.

When I think about my past now, I feel disconnected from the hurt. I acknowledge that I was wounded, but I no longer relive the pain. Instead, my first thought is how much I’ve grown, how much I’ve changed. My past no longer controls my present or my future, and for that, I am grateful.

I’ve built a life free from the people and situations that once caused me harm. And in doing so, I’ve broken the cycle.

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